Articles 12 Bros don't share dessert; -----(Light Up Nigeria Special Inside)

Article 12

Bros don’t share dessert!!

Okay this should be easy, Bros don’t share dessert. Take this for example you walk into a café in let’s say Manhattan, New York...you might wonder why not Ikeja, Lagos...simple because if I complete my description you will understand why some car tires would be missing and a café was burnt down. Okay back to my imagination, you walk into the café, with your mom and both of you see two men sharing an ice-cream Sunday...don’t lie, if those mistakenly where acquainted to you, definitely not your friends before Bro sef...(smh), if they were acquainted to you, will you walk your mother to the table proudly and introduce them...ehh??

Your Bros should be able to see your mom and greet or at least bow if they don’t know how to greet and look like ancient warriors, so your mother will be proud of you as a great son, who will conquer a lot of women in your lifetime. If you don’t know, mothers are secretly happy when their son gets laid, you are obeying the early commandments...so bottom line make your mother proud by getting laid, bringing hot babes to the house regularly. Your mom won’t complain of that, haven’t you noticed, if they are hot, your mom will tease you of bondage to fool test your strength, once you are married your mom knows you have failed that is why there is often a tense relationship between mother and daughter in-laws, simply because the babe made her warrior son “handicapped”.

The relationship between Bros is extremely complex, you are closer to him than your babes mentally, but you are restricted to a strict code physically and in thought to make sure in these trying times of the according to Uncle Rukus “anti-christ president of the most powerful nation”!!

Another thing that Bros should be warned severely about, especially if you are in Yankee...Chaii!! scary place, is of course you are in a sporting team then somebody, anybody slaps your nyansh...SMHV....noooo, that is not allowed ohh abeg. If you are in the locker room or gym or bush as with some local schools, never look at another guy undressing. Also never never ever slap a team mate or anybody’s nyansh atall...NEVER, the consequences can be severe, like for example the real reason our brother LeBron James (King) left Cleveland Cavaliers was because of one such incident, take a look below...

LIGHT UP NIGERIA

It is no news of the arrant rubbish that was uttered by a once respected, still present leader of Nigeria. That the arrogant, incredibly ridiculous statement coming up was uttered by a human being is on its own baffling, moreso a leader of our country...smhv. Imagine the person in the form of Senate President Dimeji Bankole uttered, I presume in a drunken stupor, that steady light should not be considered anytime soon in Nigeria...wait for the bombshell...because it will affect the billion naira generator sector of our economy. What stupidity and ignorance, i can bet you my junior brother cannot argue that and he is barely 13...smh one again.

With his simply daft ideology, we should also allow the illegal drugs to thrive as they generate income, so also the piracy of goods, in fact internet fraud should be protected, let’s go further sales of arms also, in fact sell all the uranium we have to Al-Qaeda, they will like to buy some...why deceive ourselves on moral values of the largest black nation ever, allow prostitution, have one in Aso Rock so you all can satisfy your beast-like sex appetites, if people want anything whatsoever, they can have it, as long as it brings money. Sell us all, endorse slave-trade, to bring in income...because whether you think I am over-blowing it or not, the fact is everything I mentioned is happening right now, because of a very stupid idealogy and the consequences we are all suffering today. Domino-effect it, if there was constant light, less money will be used for production, more industries will be able to survive, more workers, less theft, prostitution, internet fraud everything happens for a reason, think about it.

I sure as hell cannot bombard this on the airways, because of course, we live in basically a nazi society and I want to get stronger to fight them, for now all I have is this...but I promise you it will not be like this for long (SIRDOBO will revel himself in due time like Clark Kent i’ll die before I forfeit Nigeria), Join the movement, anonymously if you want at REVOLUTION TO LIGHT UP NIGERIA we will make it happen by all means ohhhh, we are STABBAN!!! Very STABBAN uuhhh....BRRRRRR!!!

Let's Go--> Artist Special: "Hoodini" Vaudeville Mixtape

Vaudeville Mixtape Review

Today is a special day on the 9ja Bro Network, we have the official review of the mixtape Vaudeville.  Firstly we have to discuss about the artist. He, firstly is a certified Bro, and as fellow Bros we have a duty to support him but when we review a mixtape, we do so without sentiments  - A Bro never lies about important stuff to another Bro, especially those that bring in $$ -

Review on a Hip-Hop Mixtape here is based on Delivery, Content, Tracks Comparisons and Buzz and Expectations. It is done by a group of 5 Bros, who all possess beyond the ordinary analytical capabilities and are keen Rap enthusiasts so every review is done as properly and bias free as possible.

On the mic is Hoodini, this might send your minds to the magician and to some other Bros the old MIC Killer, well he brings both to the table and he is obviously a 9ja Bro...duhhh. Swag on nauseous heights. If you are not used to yankee or jand in the winter better wear a duvet around yourself when next to him...BLING!! A 17yr old...unbelievable!! A graduate from Adesoye College and just a year outta high school.

Okay on the Mixtape, titled Vaudeville, produced by Black Executive Entertainment, it boasts quite a nice mixture of sounds, some party jams like “Big Boi Party” and “Should I approach”. Got my blood pulsating quite alright the on to the more head bobbing songs like “It was all a dream”. Funky sounds and more down to earth sounds. All round a very diverse and well rounded “freshman” mixtape.

On the delivery, on Hoodini himself; very tight, confident and generally smooth. Had a “Game” kindda flow to it. “It was all a dream” got me thinking of 2pac immediately, reminiscences of “till the end of time” flowing into me and I knew he hit the spot. On the delivery  he gets a 4.5/5

On content, as I said earlier he had a very good and pretty remarkable mix of songs in a single mixtape. In every song he showed his lyrical prowess and got me saying WOW from time to time. But then again nothing really special in his style, taking nothing away from him but a lot of people in the game right now can go just about as hard as him, he will definitely have to go harder to break through to a serious mainstream king. On content he gets a 4.0/5

On track comparisons, we try to take each and every track and compare the general structure of the tracks and compare them with each other. Vaudeville had quite a number of differences in each track but a fault kept on appearing, pretty annoying and it is simple down to inexperienced or downright poor production, take nothing from the beats, but every ending was somewhat flat, like leaving us in a limbo, you want to raise and drop in a track, not basically excite a girl and leave her half done (makes you a bad lover). On track comparisons he gets a 3.5/5

On Expectations, as a new comer he definitely exceeded my expectations more so as a 17yr old. But an argument can definitely take hold on if this can sell a million copies....hmmm. Plus with his little exposure to a prospective market, through reverbnation only, leaves questions asked on how serious he actually is or his self confidence. By now you would expect him to be gathering hype all over, with the advent of youtube, twitter and the like, but not so is the case funny enough. Buzz on him is very pretty low. So with his lack of buzz taking into consideration, for someone basically unknown to do this, above the likes of wizkid by far, I give him a 5/5

SO THE VAUDEVILLE MIXTAPE GETS AN OVERALL RATING OF 4.25/5

Click on Listen to Hoodini below "in the supposedly empty space people" to listen plz drop in your comments on the mixtape and the review...plz tell us ur favourite song and support the artist in anyway you deem fit...remember he is a Bro!!

---------->Listen to Hoodini<--------- 

LISTEN OHHH!!! If yon don't like it shot me!! That is if you like rap in the first place oh! I wanted to upload the songs but you listening to it on reverbnation will increase his reputation...he's a Bro

Article 10: Dumping Buddy

A Bro will drop whatever he’s doing and rush to help his Bro dump a chick.

It’s normal for a Bro to get confused, scared and disoriented when dumping a chick, especially for the first time. For some reason he’s worried she’ll become agitated or even violent after he calmly explains his desire to have sex with her friends. In such cases a Bro is needed unequivocally, to remind him that there are plenty of chicks in the ocean, and that a breakup need not be hazardous, stressful or even time-consuming. To remind him that even if he doesn’t score with the chick’s hot best-friend that just came from a far of land and is the main reason for their break-up, he will find another chick just like her in another far of land, maybe he’s dreams.

It is important to remind your friend that he is better off as the dumper not the dumpee, that as soon as the chick knows of his intentions, he will be dumped without mercy and he will fall down straight into the pit, the hell, the underground world where Brovicts are banished to trickle-down-banging. Where they prey on extremely desperate, mostly ex-, old, adult film actors who have no life ahead of them not even in prostitution...SMH. Believe me she will do this to you without as much as a heart-beat, so dump her now!!!

If your chick refuses after trying these, pay for a girl to act as your long lost wife, if she is still stubborn, pay for a guy to act like you are gay, if she is still stubborn, burn all her clothes, if she is still stubborn, beat her like chris did rihanna *that one worked* (I am not in support of domestic violence oh), if she is still stubborn, consult babalawo, if it doesn’t work, have a special meeting with T.B Joshua, if it doesn’t work, consult Daddy G.O, if still stubborn kill yourself, at least you have broken up

BRO: HOW TO DUMP A CHICK IN SIX WORDS OR LESS

“Gosh! your mustache is super cute”

“She looks like a younger you”

“I will finance a boob job”

“Your sister’s waist is really flexible”

“Quit fast food, it’s showing!”

CLASSIC LINES FOR DUMPING A CHICK

From a Nigerian babe you might get a slap

Bro (sorry bro)                                                            Nigerian Babe

“You’re not the one”                                       "Ori e sogi, so who is the one"

“It is not you, it is me”                                    "Tell me what is wrong with you"

“I’m not feeling the way i once felt”              "Sorri ohh, i am feeling thesame way"

“I don’t want to do this to you”                      "You are not doing anything-(na command)"

Passing word: - Be careful of the babes you go out with, ex-soldiers, black belt holders, boxers, body-builders, gun experts are on the no go list, you want to break up without breaking up...

Malaria don hook your boy, pray for me oh!! I hate taking drugs so I might just throw all of them away like I usually do! Lol, Enjoy November, get all your duffle bags ready for the hardest parties in December, you know how we Bosses do...

Red Alert: A Nigerian Kardashian Has Been Born

Eureka!!!!!

  

Due to recent events beyond my personal control, I have been away for a while. It is all for a good cause though...yes Bro studying chictometry, the advanced Kardiology of Kimoviagrin Gene Sequence.

Some recent events in the cosmos has made me reach a conclusion that amid the dust swivelling in controversy of a very respectable booty, I have the utmost pleasure to announce publicly that my Bro Research Facility has found a live growing “Kardashian” like form in Nigeria!!!

I have been tracking this impeccably wonderful being for a couple of years now, going undercover as a mere school-boy (to score some hot high-school babes too...i was also illegal so don’t question me) to study the rare species more closely.

With a strong diction, fearless mindset and of course the tell-tale sign of any “Kardashian” of Kimoviagrin genotype, an incredibly (sorry i have to use some scientific and engineering terms, English wasn’t made for this) parabolic, symmetric, coneccentric, time-bending, wormhole creating, sun genesised nebula of pure Puerto Rican, African booty, with the effect of instant turn-ons to all living organisms…including amoeba, OR you can just say arghhhhhhh damnnnnnn!!!! (holding your head in your hand and your mouth and eyes wide open)....that’s a good enough description.

Our very own Lopez for Latino, Kim for Caucasian and sorry Asians are yet to find their messiah, has arrived and in a big way too. A very self acclaimed Big Boy, more like Big Bad Boy (he’s got B- sized boobs) spotted her and put her in his video, sending out a very strong warning to all other wannabe Bad Boys that he has the missing key, the holy grail, the Nigerian “Kardashian”. Giving her, her very own space and sequence in his AWESOME “Ota Mi” Video...Good Lord you must have seen it, and already causing a global stir being tagged a crime on Nigeria’s own Naija State of Mind

Below are the videos, even if you have watched them before, you need to again b’cus some people still believe nobody has gone on the moon, this is testament to alien technology and the existence of a Heavenly Being working hand in hand. Giving Bros worldwide a reason to wake up every morning and smile. Like the Rinnegan, it has been given to us in a time of need (hey some people watch Naruto, it doesn’t make them less of Bros), during the upcoming elections, to save us from boring politics and remind us exactly what we are here for… “And it was said, Let man (notice the man part) conquer the world and TRY to Procreate” BOOK OF JUGS 6:9 , a  heavenly command indeed!

So as a final word -----> Obedience is Better than Sacrifice, so go on and try as much as possible but please don’t succeed!!

No need to elaborate on the position, you will definitely know it when you see it...naturally, for Bros i know of only!!

Article 8

A Bro never sends a greeting card to another Bro.

There are no sentiments between Bros that cannot be articulated through the convenience and emotional distance of electronic mail. The following are a few emails for any Brocassion that succinctly get the message across without costing you the trouble and expense of having to find and then send an actual greeting card.

EMAILS FOR ANY BROCASSION

SYMPATHY

To: Bro

From: Bro

Subject: Dude

Sorry, Bro.

CONGRATULATIONS

To: Bro

From: Bro

Subject: Bro!

Nice, Bro

GET WELL SOON

To: Bro

From: Bro

Subject: Bro...

Don’t give up, Bro.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY

To: Bro

From: Bro

Subject: Dude

Drinks on me , Bro.

THINKING OF YOU

To: N/A

From: N/A

Subject: N/A

N/A

Okay before you question my decision to skip to Article 8, think of this, do you really believe girls don’t read this, yh huh...well think again. And do you want me to expose to the whole chick world the goings of the locker room, or school gym or the small bush where you change to play inter-school matches?? Huh!! Do you really?? Well if you do request for it, female Bros with a certification of authenticity from a Bro is allowed to vote...no information about you will be passed on to chicks that are not hot...assured, like Pamela Anderson hot or Kim Kardashian hot...yh Bro no Kemistry or Weird MC -------> p.boykoko2@gmail.com ... READ, PARTICIPATE, VOTE

*okay away from Bro chatter as we usually do, check out my friendly blogs, some guaranteed crazy stuff going down on www.ohyuhfancyhuh.blogspot.com, music lives 9ja style on www.IF99.org worldwide musical genius, yhu know, real hip-hop paroles from Arabian money base on www.flowkillz.blogspot.com and my personal wiki guide on twitter @itsaykay...remember no plane flies alone (not talking about the sites btw) so get a wingman now!!*

             

Article 4

A Bro never divulges the existence of the Bro Code to a woman. It is a sacred document not to be share with chicks for any reason...no, not even that reason.

NOTE: If you are a woman reading this, first let me apologize: it was never my intention for this blog to contain so much math.

Second, I urge you to look at this blog for what it is – a piece of fiction meant to entertain a broad audience through the prism of stereotypical gender differences. I mean, sometimes it really is like we’re from different planets! Clearly, no real person would actually believe or adhere to the vulgar rules contained within.* Your hair looks amazing, b-t-dub.

*hey bros hilarious vid down there, insane, and please don't do that!!! Jizz in your pants... Also up Madrid!!! Hahaha, one of mainest bros will tell you money can buy everything and he's proved us all wrong again, NIO u get mouth

Common it's champions league period, boys have matches to watch...so better don't even try tasi-ing me.

Psst – hey, guys! I put this in really small type at the bottom since we all know men have much better vision than women. Ignore the above – the Bro Code is definitely not a piece of fiction. I was simply lying to uphold this very article.

Bro Code--- Monday's always begin with a twice the work

Article 2

A Bros is always entitled to do something stupid, as long as the rest of his Bros are all doing it.

Okay, had only one nigga started wearing skinnys, we would all have been like, “Lady, please!!! If only one Spanish dude had decided to run down the street in front of a bunch of angry bulls, people would’ve been like, “Dude, come on.” If u saw one man dropping tomatoes on his body...more like smh. The very license to be irresponsible and downright stupid is the very reason we have Bros in the first place.

Article 3

If a Bro gets a dog, it must be at least as tall as his knee when full-grown

N.B: Naming a lapdog after a some wrestler or action hero does not absolve a Bro from the spirit of this article

*Of the bro topic--> Just what is it with wrestling...?? Please if you still watch it, as a bro, DON’T!!! Wrestlers are gay, simple. Grown muscular men like Batista and Triple H, (One of my former Bros had the game smackdown vs raw 2007), in rubber g-strings, oiled and ready to grope at each other and you tell me it is alright...!!!??? You must be a seriously bent male, you are definitely not even a dude. ------ POINT?? Abstain from all forms of wrestling, even Olympic wrestling and Hand wrestling, don’t let me go into that...only girl catfights are accepted, but that is another Article on its own*

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Hey piss u dere, if u don't already watch how i met your mother, do so now!!