While the story of the Bro Code is not nearly as simple and elegant as God handing down some tablets to Broses, its origins weave all the way back to the dawn of humanity.
In the beginning there was no Bro Code...which was unfortunate for the world’s first Bros---Cain and Abel. Lacking an agreed-upon set of social principles, Cain killed Abel and committed history’s first Broicide. As punishment Cain was doomed to walk the earth alone. Why? Because without a wingman, he had absolutely no chance to meet chicks, smh...that’s one sad bro...
Centuries later a Bro from Sparta and a Bro from Troy got in a fight over a chick named Helen. Yh, I know, “Helen” isn’t a hot name, but allegedly she had a “face that launched a thousand ships,” you can just imagine what her bod could have looked like---mehn. The two Bros waged a terrible war over this chick---which could have been avoided if they had been familiar with the most basic Bro Code: Bros before ho’s. To cut the long story short the Spartans beat the Trojans, though they tried, and Helen got half the gold for the next eighteen years.
Hundreds of years later, appropriately in Calabar, common we should all know why, a little known group of delegates gathered together called 7.5 wingmen, Brokang Ini-Dobo, Brogede Balogun, Brolu Arogunmati, Broruaro Lordobo, Ayo Brologun, Smith Brommanuel and Tunji Brolaolu scratched on parchment what is now considered the earliest attempt to record the Bro Code. Over the years Bros have amended and added rules, but Lordobo’s elegant words remain as the glorious preamble to the Bro Code.
While the original document is housed 2,000m below sea level in an undisclosed, vacuum sealed, bullet proof chamber, I was able to gain access long enough to get my sacred replica. (I am not really good at blogging yet or else i would have put a picture copy, give me a couple of days and i would figure that out).
I leave you with these parting words... Never Leave A Bro Stranded with a hot crazy babe...Wingmen are hard to come by but forever necessary...N.B don't wingman for random men, you will just be as good as a hooker
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